Author – Lydia Oakley

Lydias Blog – http://mummymeblog.blogspot.com

Instagram – @lydsoakley

We all know how tough it is returning to work after a week off. Whether it has been spent on holiday or just at home, it really is devastating to go back to the reality of ‘real life’. So imagine the heartbreak of having to return to work after 10 months on maternity leave!

For me it was just that, Heartbreaking! The thought of leaving my best friend for a whole six hours, three days a week would scare me massively as I was terrified of missing any of her developments or even worse Ayla hating me for leaving her. Although I knew that she would be 100% safe and happy with her Nannie’s, I still struggled to shake the fear and would often have a melt down.

Okay so I am writing this blog two days into my return to work, but I feel like now is the perfect time to write about my experience as not only is it fresh but also because this could help another Mummy who is coming to the end of her maternity. Honestly.. It really isn’t all that bad and as I look back now on the tears and anxiety I have suffered towards the end, I feel like I wasted too much time worrying. So if you are reading this feeling the way i did then STOP RIGHT NOW! Enjoy the rest of your maternity leave as it is precious, you will be fine I promise.

I returned to work on Tuesday 15th May having left Ayla for the day with Tom’s parents. Admittedly I had a little sob on the way to work but as I was reunited with my work pals and got stuck into it I felt settled again. Without sounding extremely selfish I actually enjoyed being there having a laugh and engaging my brain for the first time in months! Of course I missed Ayla massively and would obviously give all my time to her if it was possible to do so, but it simply isn’t! Ayla had the most special day with her grandparents, playing at the park and collecting her cousins from school. As soon as we walked through the door her face lit up! This was hands down the most amazing feeling, she was just as excited to see me as I was her. On my second day I had now left Ayla with my Mum and can honestly say I practically skipped into work, my worries have completely disappeared!

The way I look at it now is that not only am I extremely fortunate to be able to return to work on a part time basis but Ayla is being cared for by her Nannie’s who she knows and loves. I now make the absolute most of the time I get to spend with her and I also get a bit of ‘me time’ at work too.. I have the best of both worlds! If anything returning to work has made me empathise with Tom, I selfishly never even stopped to think about how heavy it must lay on his heart having to leave Ayla every single day! The amount of times I cried on his shoulder complaining about the possibility of me missing one of Ayla’s ‘firsts’ when all this time he had missed the majority! I feel extremely blessed to have had 10 months with my little girl and be able to work part time, but without Tom that wouldn’t have been possible and for that I will forever be grateful!

Thank you for reading

Lydia x